My butterfly is starting to fly


Today is her first school field trip to be on her own.

I was supposed to go with her. Though parents were not exactly invited, i had planned on tagging along in my car. Keeping a safe distance so as not to make my presence felt, but watching with an eagle eye to make sure she is safe. I realize no matter how i try to teach her independence, i will always be the first one to break it. I can’t seem to let go. Maybe i will never learn how.

As i watch her get off the car, i saw the excited smile on her face. I knew she was happy Mommy was not going with her. I tried till the last minute, but the forces beyond my control would not let me have my way this time. I knew deep down she was secretly thanking her little brother, but not really being glad that he got sick so i had to stay home with him.

“Mommy, kaya ko ( i can manage). Don’t worry”. I tried a last ditch effort. “If your brother is not sick, would you have really wanted me to go with you? Be honest, i won’t get hurt”. To which she replied , “No, i really want to try and experience being on my own”. And then my son added quite maturely and with an air of wisdom, “Take care of yourself”.

Listening to them, i had this thought: Did i overdo it? Training them to be responsible individuals quite early? For a moment i felt a pang of regret. I want my babies back. The small, cuddly ones who depended on me for everything. But i know i could never have them back. They’ve grown. They are growing. They will grow.

If there is one consolation i get from this heart breaking realization, it’s that i get to see this swift transformation everyday. I have to console myself that at least i get to be there to witness every milestone. At least i get to record everything, like this picture i took of her this morning. The picture that will signify the first of the many school tours that i will no longer be a part of.

IMG_20150205_062654[1]Now i am home writing this blog post and i am very sad. I find myself counting the hours till i can fetch her and treat her for after-school snacks. Anything that would erase this heaviness and make me forget that she’s eleven and that i really can’t do anything about it but to embrace motherhood even more and enjoy her childhood like there is no tomorrow.


On dreams and other dreams


Last night my daughter asked me if i would have left my job if i didn’t settle down and had kids. For a moment i was tempted to give her the answer that would make her feel good but remembered that honesty has always been one of the strongest foundations of our relationship so i told her the truth. I said no, I wouldn’t have left.

As i said it i felt a rush of freedom. It was the first time i admitted it out loud. The first time i was honest about it to another person. She fell silent for a while and looked at me with so much love in her eyes. She said, “I’m going to write a story about you. The story of your life”.

It was my turn to be silent. What do i say to that? I just loved her even more.

It has been eleven years since i gave up a dream for another dream. At that time i thought of it as just  putting it on hold until life happened and brought a series of detours that i  forgot that i have put something on hold.

But you never really forget something that shaped the person that you are. When i was a child, my parents would often see me talking in front of the mirror. They said i was mimicking a newscaster, holding a pen and paper. I only knew of that story when i told them i was going to take up Mass Communication in College because i wanted to be a journalist. I became one.

IBC Headliners

A month before graduation, i landed my first job as a newscaster for Channel 13. Finals and thesis defense were over and i was just waiting for graduation so i can finally start the next chapter of my life. My Dad saw an advertisement for newscasters and suggested that i apply. I went for an audition and two weeks after i made my first newscast on national television. I gave my first paycheck, all of it, to my mom.

It was a milestone in my life i will never forget. It felt like i was holding the world in my hands and i could do anything.

Balita Atbp

After a year at IBC 13 i moved on to ABS-CBN. I went to audition for an early morning newscast that was going to be aired before their morning show ( Ala Singko Y Medya). There was a long line of aspirants, about a hundred or so. I prayed, hoped and waited. After hours of waiting, the assistant producer came out and told us they will be auditioning only fifty more and the rest can leave and wait for further announcements if another set of auditions will be held. I was number 50. I was the last to audition and i made it. I will never be able to describe until now how i felt that time. I would have worked there for free if it meant having to say that i anchor for ABS-CBN.


Waking up at three in the morning and coming to work at four was a breeze. At 20, i was the oldest of the three girls who were casted for ABS-CBN’s newest program. I was tasked to do the hard news, Monette Manabat did the features and Bianca Gonzales anchored the showbiz segment. Marc Logan was our Executive Producer. I loved my job. Loved every part of it.

This part of my life is called happiness.

Then it was time to move on again. A number of programs were reformatted and ours was among those that were cancelled. It was a sad time but i had so much happiness stored that i didn’t feel bad for long. I knew that another door was going to open.

It was wide open. I walked through it and stayed for seven years.

Come home to ABC

It was in ABC 5 where i learned how to be a true journalist. It was there where i learned to love my craft with so much passion that everything else paled in comparison. It was there where i saw the world for what it really was.


It was there where i learned how to be one of the boys, to push and fight my way into a mob just so i can get a sound bite.

It was there where i came face to face with death and became numb with it as the number of my exposure to it piled up. It was there where i learned how to work for 24 hours and manage not to look sleepless at all when it was time to face the camera. It was there where i learned how to eat in carinderias ( low-class eatery as google defines it). My motto was Bawal ang maselan pag reporter ka”( fussiness is not allowed when you are a reporter). It was there where i learned how it was like to live the life of a poor farmer as i stood side by side with them and planted “palay” ( rice grain) under the scorching heat of the sun.


It was there where i had the chance to dress like a pilot and rode four Philippine Air Force air crafts in three days.

It was there where i learned to accept criticisms and use them to grow and be better. It was there where i learned about corruption and was ostracized because i refused to be bribed and join the bandwagon. It was there where i almost got ambushed, quickly wrote a farewell letter to my family lying face down on the road while on coverage in Jolo, Sulu.

It was there where i learned to fight the nausea and fatigue as my belly grew bigger and heavier while still running after the news. It was there where i almost had the chance to go to Paris but had to pass it up for a safe pregnancy. It was there where i was lovingly reprimanded by a Senator and told me to go home, put my feet up and wait for my baby to be born because he was afraid i would  go into labor in the middle of the election coverage.  It was there where i learned to write everything and write them fast. It was there where i learned that i am responsible for my stories and they matter. What i do matters.

This part of my life is called passion.

Those seven years were so full. My daughter calls it, “mommy’s glory days”. Every bit of it are now stored in boxes and archived in computer files. Those in between are kept in my heart. If i were to write everything about it, i would come up with a book. Maybe someday. Soon, i hope.

Full time motherhood

I bid farewell to ABC in 2007 when my daughter was two years old. My last coverage was the eruption of Mt. Bulusan in Sorsogon. I was assigned there for a week and it was there that i composed my resignation letter. I handed it to my boss, Ed Lingao the day i came back. He told me i was lucky to have the option to choose because others do not. A month after i was a full time mom.

It was a decision met with so much doubt from family and friends.  But i was headstrong. I took a leap of faith.

Leaps and Bounds

It took a year of crying at long distance coverages, missing my daughter and wishing that i was the one taking care of her at home before i finally had the courage to make a choice. I couldn’t do my work half-hearted anymore and i couldn’t be just a weekend mom any longer.

With me not earning and contributing to the household finances, fear of lack started to creep in. But the Lord was quick with His reward. Soon after i was hosting two television programs and special events on the side. All these i was able to do while taking care of my daughter everyday without a maid. Five years later, God blessed us with a son. It is truly amazing how God surprises you with the best of plans. He alters yours because He has something better.

Eleven years later i see my former colleagues behind my television screen. There were some who chose the path that i took while others stayed and have made names for themselves already. Some days, i allow myself to wonder what would it have been like if i had stayed. But i also ask myself, what would it have been like if i didn’t.

The greatest miracles of my life

I am now thirty eight years old. Still married and still a full time mom to a thirteen year old and a seven year old.  God’ grace has paved the way to work opportunities that i can do without letting go of my full time motherhood status. I do a bit of everything of what i used to do all the time. I anchor, i host, i write. All in my free time. The rest of the time, i do a lot of what i used to have so little time for. I take care of my children. The two greatest miracles of my life. If i am given a chance to live my life once again, i would still choose them. What i would do to keep them little forever.


But they are growing so fast and i’m getting older. Maybe it is time for me to take a peek and see if what i have put on hold is still there.

This part of my life is called motherhood.

Looking back is therapy for the soul

Once in a while i open those boxes and pore over my  files. I find that it restores me on days when my cup runs out. It comforts me on days when i ask my whys, hows and whens. It reminds me that i am worth so much more and that it is alright to still dream of something more. There is always a tinge of sadness but never with regret. That i can truthfully say.

Old habits never die

To this day i still carry a notebook and a pen with me wherever i go. There is never a day when i don’t feel the urge to write something. Light bulb moments are everyday occurrences with me. There is always a conversation going on inside my head. Sometimes my children would tell me that i talk like a reporter whenever i was trying to explain something to them. I don’t think i will ever outgrow the habit for how do you remove something that shaped the person that you are?

You can’t.

The whats, whens and hows

The boxes are open now. I have been looking through everything and remembering. My soul needed it. The contents of those boxes prompted me to write this. There is so much more to tell. Some of which i have told my children already. What a full life i have led and i am not even halfway done. In two years i will be forty years old. If the saying is true, i can’t wait for my  life to begin again.

Dreams are free and i am a dreamer.


This part of my life is called dreaming, hoping and waiting.

Thank you and i hope to see you soon:)


Dear fellow bloggers,

Thank you very much for taking the time to visit my blog and read through my simple everyday journey. I am saying goodbye to this blog ( Mom: The Best Title in the world) to start a new adventure as i focus on what really matters and to express my infinite gratitude to my Lord and Savior for each brand new day with my new blog, “My greatest adventure”. I hope to still see you all there.

Praying that all of you would be filled with God’s grace and mercy as you go through this beautiful and colorful journey called LIFE.

🙂Thank you God

Live while we’re young


What an unforgettable experience. I will always be grateful for that day when i felt the urge to open my face book account to see my daughter’s godfather post a photo of a long  line at the SM Arena  ticket counter. Which led me and my daughter on a much similar line a year after waiting to get inside the venue where our worlds would meet for a few hours as we watch her favorite band in a concert.


It was one of those moments when i felt like a young girl again. Hand in hand with my best girl, we patiently waited for five hours to get inside. Only by God’s grace were we able to withstand the long hours of waiting. Thanking the Lord for our safety and  good weather. It was extremely humid but it was also cloudy. We were spared from getting sunburned. We never had the urge to go to the restroom which will make us leave our spot and line up all over again. We had no episode of nausea, though we saw a lot of people passing out and requiring medical attention.

Until today, i keep on remembering our moments on that line and i can’t help but marvel at the gift i have received from above eleven years ago. Having her has changed my life in more ways than i could ever change hers. Having your daughter for a best friend is definitely one of the coolest and awesome things you could ever have.


I think, for me, more than the show itself, i would always cherish those five hours at the line. That line  was a supreme test of patience, positivity, perseverance and above all,  parental devotion.


There were moms, dads, grandparents who stood for hours with their children. I especially admired the dads who came with their little ones. It was a very sweet sight.


Behind the railings were the daddies who dropped off their children and opted to stay and wait till the show was over. You could see most of them on the phone from time to time checking if their daughters have already made it to the venue.

In our batch, there were a lot of moms who instantly fell into conversation with one another to pass the time. A camaraderie was formed right away. We were all there for the same reason. We love our children so much to let them miss this milestone. And yes, it is a milestone. Every drop of sweat and varicose vein was worth it when i saw the pure joy in my daughter’s face as we finally entered the venue and found our seats. It was priceless. A year in waiting for an hour and a half concert was worth it.



And the energy. Oh wow! What great energy. It is impossible not to get carried away. No one would ever believe that these girls waited in line for hours. I could not believe that i am still standing after those endless hours of waiting. How could i sit still when all around me where excited, giddy, cheerful girls who scream at every sound coming from the stage. My best girl is up on her feet and waving her hands in the air. At that moment i realized, i am one of them. I am my daughter’s friend. I am her peer and there is no stopping me from living in that moment.

Oh, to be young and free.

Then the boys came out and what pandemonium! Despite the incessant reminder from the organizers to not stand on the chairs, everyone was doing the opposite. The helpless security just stood there with a resigned look on their faces. I couldn’t even stop my daughter from doing so because we will not be able to see a thing as everyone, yes everyone, even those at the front were standing on their chairs. And so i found myself breaking the rules and enjoying every minute of it. Standing on my chair, waving my hands in the air like i just don’t care.

How liberating!


I sang. Yes, i know the lines. I danced. Yes, i did manage not to fall from my chair as i did. I screamed. Yes, i did, for the boys were really cute. And i got teary eyed as i stole a look at my daughter and saw her crying happy tears. At that moment, i was just so grateful.

I thank Harry, Liam, Niall and Louis ( also Zayn though he broke my daughter’s heart for leaving the band) for making my daughter happy. I thank them for an awesome show and for thanking us ( the moms, dads, grandparents) who patiently and lovingly supported our children in their devotion of their group. It was really sweet of them to mention us. To quote my daughter, ” Aww, they are really good boys”. They have won our hearts the second time.

2011-01-05 08.13.58

If i would describe the concert in one word, it would be amazing. But to describe our experience in one word would be impossible. Perhaps the best fitting definition would be it is one for the books. An experience so unforgettable that the story behind it would surely be passed on to my grandchildren.

I had monumental fun. My daughter and i both did.  And no, i didn’t use any earplugs. Totally ignoring the strong advise of friends. They wouldn’t have worked anyway. And what use would i have of them with all the screaming that i did.

Live while we’re young, right?

I am Me


For the past eleven years, i have been getting a lot of educating from the most unexpected and amazing teachers i have ever had. My children. Unknown to them, they have taught me the richest, most valuable, humbling and life changing lessons in life. And i have a feeling i will be needing their expertise for many more years.

This morning another lesson was taught to me. This time, my son has brought along his little friends to teach me the value of becoming myself. The best version of me.

I have four more years till i reach that phase they call “middle age”. But there are times when i feel that i am already at the foot of that bridge. With a college diploma, a former career in broadcasting, a freelance job, a life of a full time Mom, a happy marriage and a wonderful family, there are times when i still feel the need to ask the questions…

Who am I? What makes me special? What can i do?

I ask not because i am lost. I ask because sometimes no matter how fulfilled i am, i need to remind myself of me. That underneath the dishes to wash, laundry to fold, beds to make, articles to write, and events to dress up for, there is that person who is so unique that there is no other individual on earth who was made exactly the way i am. That everyday i am given the grace, a new opportunity  to be the best that i can be.

This morning i had the privilege of meeting the most confident and  happiest people on earth.

They are strong. They are brave. They are cute. They are happy. They are thoughtful. They are smart. They are helpful. They are special. They are proud. They are super. They are lovable. They are kind.


They are the preschoolers of Creative Explorers. Our son’s preschool. Our daughter’s alma mater.

They are themselves. So simple. So exact. So true.

So innocent.

“When i grow up, i want to be a firefighter so i can put out the fire”. To dream of becoming someone with the intention of helping others. How many of us still have that purest of intentions?


So candid.

“I want to be a doctor, so i can inject people”. That one was greeted with cheerful laughter and applause from the audience 🙂

So truthful.

“I am special because Mommy loves me”


So confident.

” I can sing”.


And i realize it is never that difficult to be just like them. I live with them. Everyday, i have this precious gift of time to learn with them, laugh with them, cry with them, sing with them, dance with them, play with them, make a mess with them, create art with them, build memories with them. Be myself with them.

Today, our son together with his friends bade goodbye to another school year. They were now ready to move up. So ready that even if the lights were suddenly turned off on that stage, they would keep on shining for their light would be enough to fill that entire hall with their brightness.


The graduating class’ song perfectly defined who they are. “Liwanag sa Dilim” ( Light in Darkness).

So much enthusiasm. Brimming with optimism. Simply contagious.


I can be who i want to be.

“I’m the world’s greatest. I am an eagle. I am a tree. I am the river. I am the sea. I am the sun. I am the moon. I am the star. I am Jupiter. I am Mars. I am you. I am me. I am the most beautiful. I am the strongest. I am the most important”.


What a blessing to witness this milestone. To see these little heroes at their best. Yes, they are heroes. For everyday they save someone from sadness, from negativity, from being ordinary, from gloom.

Teacher Giselle Elgincolin.  Founder and Directress of Creative Explorers School for Children. One of the most passionate and dedicated teachers that i admire.

Teacher Giselle Elgincolin. Founder and Directress of Creative Explorers School for Children. One of the most passionate and dedicated teachers that i admire.

To have our little boy among these promising and gifted children. To hear them speak of the joy of life, of God’s goodness, of who they are, of their dreams, of what they can do and of what they can become. What a heart changing experience. In two hours, i have learned so much, more than i have ever learned in one college semester.

A valuable life lesson.

And for this, i am thankful for every teacher who has taught, inspired, loved and encouraged my children to be who they are are, to be the best that they can be, to celebrate their uniqueness, to never stop exploring, to continuously yearn to learn.

Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Parenting is a whole lot more enjoyable and fulfilling with you.

The passionate, energetic, pretty and vibrant teachers and staff of Creative Explorers

The passionate, energetic, pretty and vibrant teachers and staff of Creative Explorers

But the biggest thanks i reserve for my little teachers. Thank you for for being you. Thank you for teaching me that there is no other person i would rather be, than me.


“I am the smallest thing that you love and the biggest thing from above”.

Yes my darlings, you are. No matter how big you’ll get, remember this:

You will never be ordinary. You will never be small. You are God’s masterpiece. You are unique. You are you. The very best there is.

Because of you, i know that i am too.

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A mother is never ready


A mother is never ready.

No she never is.

A mother is never ready for every birthday.

No she never is.

She may throw a fantastic party complete with all the trimmings

But when the last guest leaves and the celebrant falls asleep

She sits quietly in a corner

trying to forget

that her baby is now a year older.


A mother is never ready

no she never is.

A mother is never ready

for every school year to end.

No she never is.

When the last of the school things

have been sent home

She fights back the tears

that are starting to form.


Hurray! Summer is here

But while everyone is in good cheer

Busy at play

and having fun all day

She sits quietly in a corner

wishing she will feel better.

Because she knows that when summer is over

she will be saying goodbye

to another batch of toys

that will never be played with again.

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A mother is never ready.

No she never is.

A mother is never ready for Moving Up days

No she never is.

Though she will dress up in her best

With her camera tucked in her vest

She will discreetly dab a hankie  to her eyes

To keep her tears from flowing.

Still her face is glowing

She smiles for she is truly happy.

She beams with pride

As her babies go up that stage

But in her heart there is a certain sadness.

Her babies have grown

and are now ready to move on.

But her feet are somehow stuck

Is there any way to go back?


A mother is never ready.

No she never is.

She is never ready to

end a chapter

celebrate a milestone

move on

No she never is.

Still she knows that she needs to.

With open arms she has to.

For as long as there are memories to keep

and days to make new ones

In perfect peace

she will sleep.

But not without a silent prayer

for a fresh batch of grace

that the next time she needs to be ready

She will have the heart to be.

But that

in all honesty

I feel will never be.

A “Fair” to remember


This February, our family was treated to two creative and innovative school fairs. What a super cool way to celebrate the month of love.

Our first treat came as we celebrated the 12th birthday of our our son’s school. And boy, they do know how to throw a really awesome fair! Even old students are welcome and every year i see kids from previous batches including our daughter who always looks forward to visiting her beloved preschool.

This year, the theme was ” I love HUE”. From the gate, guests were already treated to cheerful bursts of color. Truly, the color of love is not just red:)


The passionate and dedicated Teacher Giselle Elgincolin.




Each child is given a ticket with photos of the different booths. All photos should be stamped after visiting each booth to get a special token:)

Our family has been attending this annual fair for the past 8 years but each event is always a new experience for us.  As my daughter would say each year, “That was an awesome fair”. Which she would say again the following year. It just gets better and better!

What i personally love about it is the passionate involvement of everyone into making each fair memorable not just for the students and teachers but for the whole family as well.

  The decoration, posters and artworks were made by the students and teachers. Every family was  given a schedule to man the booths. Truly, there is no excuse not to have an amazing time on this awesome day!


The rainbow fishing game


Aside from having fun,children learn the value of recycling plastic bottles at the Heartastic Bowling game booth:)


Why buy a sun catcher when you can make one?


Then there is the Talent Show. Current and old students are welcome to sign up for it. Even family members are welcome to join. Though this is not a contest, performers are so inspired and eager to show their very best. As the children cheer for their own classmates, you would really feel the strong bond among the students.


That’s our son singing and dancing to the chart topping hit, Beat it.

That's our son singing and dancing to the chart-topping hit Beat It.


The host and over-all talent show coordinator, Teacher Gilette Santos.


And what is a fair without the goodies? For the “hungry HUE”, families were treated to a delicious selection of comfort food. There were hot dogs,corn, baked macaroni, donuts, siomai and healthy refreshments. Yum!IMG_20150214_083423IMG_20150214_084005


It was definitely a blast! We were one of the last families to leave but we left happy and with an armful of goodies. Truly, it was was time well spent.


Our next stop was our daughter’s  “MASCIYA fair”. It is an annual school fair to celebrate Math and Science as the really cool and fun subjects that they are. If truth be told, i have never enjoyed learning about Math and Science as a student until i was introduced to this really awesome concept:)IMG_20150220_102736

What made this years’s event more special was that the students were given the opportunity to conceptualize their own games, as well as to make and decorate their own booths. How cool is that? 🙂




My daughter with her team mates manning the “Mixers Game”. A very easy but tricky game to test the memory. You simply memorize the location of all the cards with the different water forms, then put them face down, mix it and make sure you get 3 matching water forms. For example, Ocean-salt water. Awesome!

Just like in our son’s school, this fair is a community effort. It had an atmosphere that of a really jolly county fair complete with stuffed toys and candies as prizes:)

All the booths were carefully thought of. With each one highlighting Math and Science lessons. There was this one booth called Hit the Target where you first have to answer a set of  Science related questions from 3 categories. I chose the “Easy” category. What can i do, Science is not my best subject. The really embarrassing thing was, i even failed to answer the last question that would qualify me for the next round. Darn! But hey, i got to try again (choosing the easy category again) and finally made it to the final round, which was hitting the target and getting a prize:)



Of course, my favorite booth was my daughter’s booth. It was one of the easiest and the cheapest game ( at 2 pesos per try). She told me that it was really the intention so they would get more customers and more votes. You see, there is a prize for the “most loved booth”, which she and her team mates won:)



For the first time in an “x” number of years, i actually enjoyed doing Math! Thanks to the innovative and super cool grade 6 students who thought of the game “Bowl-A-Math-A”. I played the game thrice and had to stop so i can give chance to others 🙂

Reusing clean and empty Yakult bottles, the objective is to bowl over the bottles  and answer a mathematical question correctly. I was so happy that i got the correct answer i literally jumped for joy. That was a first for me where Math is concerned. English and Social Studies are my strongest subjects 🙂


I had so much fun that i even ended up buying a tub of soft and chewy chocolate chip cookies that were meant as a prize ( one piece for every correct answer!) just because time was up and i couldn’t play anymore because they had to close the booths already.

At the close of the fair, earnings were divided equally among the team members. What a cool way to learn entrepreneurial skills!


Awards and recognitions were also given to the most creative booth, most loved booth as well as the winners of the Math and Science quiz bee.

It was scorching hot that day, but i don’t think anyone minded. Everyone was just busy having fun, being kids and being in the company of those whose passion is to give a different kind of learning experience to these amazing children. I had loads of fun. More fun than i ever had in my own school fairs. Definitely looking forward to next year.